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I-Have-Now

The journey I'm on TheAlzheimersConversation.com is shown briefly in the following video clips.  For me this journey is giving an amazing immediacy to living, a release to be authentic.  As dying becomes part of living and living becomes part of dying, I feel that both my living and my dying are far fuller for it: DyLiving

I am in a beautiful place.

As the shirt at the bottom of this page says ....

45 seconds

Hi it's the seventh of June 2024 and I have what Robin Williams had, Lewy Body Dementia, and with the help of some very very good people I've come to realize, to feel in my guts and in my mind, that I have Now, this is a moment that I have, I have Now.  I can do with Now what I choose to do.  I have Now, I choose to make it as beautiful as it can be, as joyful for me as it can be, I have Now, I will keep Now, this Now and the next Now and the next Now as long as I can, I have Now.  Thank you.

30 seconds

It's the ninth of June and I'm at a festival in Boulder, and I'm starting to feel like I can make this thing happen.  I had four Now moments today, one with a policeman, one with a rabbi, one with a guitar player, and one with a beautiful family.  I'm creating these Now moments and feeling them and feeling happy.  It's like Robin Williams ...... I don't know what but something's happening.  Thank you so much.

25 seconds

Still June ninth, on the way back to Denver.  Yesterday I had a chance to see the movie about Robin Williams "Robin's Wish".  It's ghastly and horrible to think that he went through this without knowing what was going on, and I only have to say thank you to him that at least I know what world I'm living in.  Thank you.

15 seconds

It's June 10, I'll continue to create Now, to create Nows, but there are some Nows that are not mine to create or not.

18 seconds

It's June 12, I'm at the acupuncture place, I feel like there's a big energy element to everything that's going on, and I'm here, they check me, and then I get feedback from them what the energy piece is, of what's going on with me.

28 seconds

It's June 15th, over the last few days I'm having a series of experiences that are so connected with this feeling of resonating, connecting, flowing with people, with situations, with things I hear.  It's like opening a whole new door, I'm in a different world now but it's not scary, I'm finding that it's really beautiful.

17 seconds

It's June 21st, I have now and I'm discovering that nows come in a lot of different ways, there are a lot of different worlds out here, I start to discover the nows that are not the nows that I have, that other people have.  Wow.

20 seconds

Hi it's the 22nd of June, we're at a park for a Celebration of Life for a young guy who died, and it can't help but strengthen the feeling of let's celebrate life while we have it, while we have the now, and for those of us who know that death is on the way there's a place to celebrate that as well.

2 minutes 29 seconds

Today is September 4, this summarizes what has happened during several weeks in August and these first few days of September.

40 seconds

It's September 16, the family is on their way home, the fact that they came of itself - I don't know how to say the feeling, it's breathtaking.  The fact that they picked up and came to be together is stunning.  And how they did it, they came full of flow, they came full of feeling, they came full of love, and that's the way the whole time went.  There are no words, somehow silence is the only way to express the feeling.

Ashes Still in Body Form 20241009.jpg

October 9

Yesterday I went to the Funeral Home to make arrangements for my cremation, to go from body to ashes.  Even though I knew I would go through this station on my MCIJourney.com, actually doing it, being there, talking about the details, and going by things like the Display Room for caskets and Scattering Tubes was different than just thinking about it.  It left me rather shaken and stomach churning.

 

Already as I left for a walk this morning I felt completely different, I felt like DyLiv.Co that Dying and Living Co-exist: that I am already ashes that are still in body form!  What an incredible RELEASE!  I can relate to myself as having already gone through all this, and my body has to catch up!  I'm already ashes and everyone else is already ashes, we're all already ashes (or dust or smoke or dirt or whatever) just still in human form!  I felt exhilarated and asked someone to take my picture - my first photo as ashes still in human form (above)!

Shirt
Im Dying TShirt 20240627.jpg

First Time Wearing Shirt, June 27 2024:
I'm Dying
You Oughta Try It Some Time
I-Have-Now.com

an incredibly different feeling about life:
TheAlzheimersConversation.com

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