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Epitaphing
Being a Living Epitaph

An Epitaph is words about a deceased person, often written on their gravestone. 

Epitaphing is a person being a living Epitaph of the deceased.  The person keeps a selected essence of the deceased alive and active.  Epitaphing is an act of love and life.

Epitaphing may be done for several reasons:

  • Epitaphing may be part of a person's grieving for the deceased by that person keeping a meaningful aspect of the deceased alive and active

  • Epitaphing may be a person's sign of respect for the deceased or for a part of the deceased's actions

  • Epitaphing is an action and may be considered stronger than oral or written expressions

  • Epitaphing is a way for a person to transmit values or guidance to the person's children before the person is deceased (see below)

  • Since Epitaphing is a living activity, it is more flexible and may be adjusted over time whereas an Epitaph is literally "set in stone".

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rieving can be the feeling of sadness for what has been lost, or grieving can be actions that bring living memory of what has been lost. Epitaphing provides mourners with a way of expressing their grieving through actions, which leads them to relate to both the grieving process and to the deceased differently than expressing their sorrow only through feelings.

 Epitaphing may be done while the person is still alive as the host of this session has done, which is a very special process leading to very special results as described in this session.

 “Epitaphing” is a living activity and is different than an “Epitaph” which is unchanging. Epitaphing and an Epitaph relate to grieving much differently.

 Epitaphing is a five-step process of connecting with what has been/will be lost, describing its essence, and keeping a portion of the essence alive through actions of living that express the essence of what has been lost.



Epitaphing" is about a person living who they are, and so they will be remembered for who they are.  Epitaphing is the transition from living in response to surroundings to living intentionally by their Epitaph.  To do Epitaphing a person:
    > goes over their own self and their own life, without the noise of the world
    > writes their Epitaph, describing their authentic self in up to 25 words
    > decides how to live the remainder of their life according to their Epitaph 
    > describes how they want their Epitaph to affect the people who hear/read it
    > holds an Epitaphing Ceremony to celebrate their Epitaphing!

An Epitaphing person, a person who has defined and is living according to their Epitaph, is fulfilling the mission they have defined for themself in life.

As an example of Epitaphing, here is Epitaphing as I did it:
I was in my mid-60's and thinking of retirement, and wondering what I would do with the coming years.  I didn't want to spend whatever years I had left "by accident", I wanted to live them in a way that I would feel good with and would be fulfilling, that would let me feel like I'm living with a purpose.  I didn't know what to do so I went through the steps of Epitaphing:

> goes over their own self and their own life, without the noise of the world
I looked at what I have enjoyed, what I like to spend time on, things throughout my life that stand out, and how I felt about different things.  This took several weeks, and I did this thinking / remembering / feeling as I was out for walks in quiet places.

> writes their Epitaph, describing their authentic self in up to 25 words
From taking this long look at myself and my life, I wrote a very short expression of who I feel I am and what I feel I'm about:

To feel situations I'm in, and to bring my energies to make the situations richer for the people they touch.

I feel like I'm being me when I do this, and this is what I bring to the world.

> decides how to live the remainder of their life according to their Epitaph 

Fulfilling my Epitaph is not grandiose, it is to pay attention and to intentionally bring small amounts of positive energy to situations that happen in the flow of life.  Epitaphing brings energies from the guts, it is not throwing out empty compliments.  Commenting on how artistically the produce person is arranging the vegetables at the store, admiring a person's haircut (especially because I'm bald!), and endless other small things I can do with very little time or effort, and each gives me a feeling of fulfilling my epitaph.

> describes how they want their Epitaph to affect the people who hear/read it

If and whether anybody gets a sense of my Epitaph, I would want them to do it in whatever small way and however frequently they choose to.  They shouldn't tell me about doing it, whoever and however brings good energies into the world is fulfilling my Epitaph.

> holds an Epitaphing Ceremony to celebrate their Epitaphing!

I enjoy singing and wanted my Epitaphing Ceremony to be singing, so when I was ready for the Ceremony I looked for an opportunity for Epitaphing.  It didn't take long to arrive -- as I was shmoozing with the fellow next to me on the bus I said I like to sing and asked him if he'd sing with me.  From his big smile I felt he would enjoy it as much as I would, so we launched into two rowdy verses of "When the Saints".  That was quite a Celebration for me of bringing Epitaphing into my life!

And so Epitaphing has become part of my life, and among other things that happen in my life I always feel that Epitaphing is me being myself and bringing something I have to offer into the world.

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